If you and your partner are stuck in a sexual rut, don’t freak out as you’re not alone! Dry spells are actually a normal part of any relationship, however it’s still no consolation for couples experiencing one. Allison Moon, author of “Girl Sex 101” shares with Healthline: “Familiarity is the death of the sex drive.” It’s sad but true that the more we get used to someone, the less exciting sex will be.
However, 8 tips below can help reignite the passion your sex life is lacking.
Dance and yoga are great activities to boost your body’s energy, Moon says. When you affirm your connection with your own body, you then can affirm your connection with your partner’s body. According to a survey, sexually inactive couples were prone to feelings of sadness and felt unattractive. Recover your sexual force by finding new ways to move and get comfortable in your body.
New experiments create a sense of bonding and intimacy. Try to think outside of the box and do an activity that may frighten you or energize you, like an amusement park ride or an escape room, suggests sex educator Sunny Megatron, who is also co-host of the American Sex Podcast. By doing so, you will create dopamine and duplicate the same feelings you had in the honeymoon phase of your relationship.
Experts state dopamine and other chemicals in the brain are directly connected to physical attraction and romantic passion, and that’s why bonding over a new activity together could help spark arousal.
Sharing with Healthline, Megatron said we should take one night to have a raw discussion about what you do and don’t like sexually, explore new sex moves, and talk about your hidden fantasies. Don’t try too hard to be sexy, just experiment to see what you like and say what you normally avoid saying out of fear of embarrassing yourself or sounding insensitive.
In 2016, a research survey was conducted online on 1,200 men and women ages 18-25. The results showed that men and women have wildly different sexual expectations. These expectations are not going to change overnight, so couples need to communicate their likes and dislikes in bed for a mutually pleasurable experience.
Sex classes can help open up a totally different avenue of sex play. A one-night sex class is extremely easy to find and there you can learn about new sex positions, techniques, and toys and props for sex play, in a learning environment that is fun, not intimidating.
Another fun way for you to heat up the passion is to go somewhere new to experiment with [a] little role-play. Beforehand, you will need to make up backstories for your characters, then dress up, and have fun with it. According to a report of the U.S. Travel Association, couples that travel together have better sex lives.
However, it is not going to be easy for everyone. Some couples might find a sexy rendezvous challenging. A romantic getaway takes a lot of efforts. However, you will still benefit even though you spend time together in ways that are nonsexual. Try hiking together or visiting a new nearby spot.
Don’t freak out yet when we suggest watching porn. Couple-friendly porn will help you get to know each other’s experience of titillation. You can try Sssh, Crashpadseries, and FrolicMe for female-friendly, queer-friendly, and couple-friendly alternatives.
Or if you are up for something even wilder, Megatron suggests attending a weekend sex convention. These conventions take places in almost every city, all year long. There you can attend sex classes or observe observe sex play without participating. They will surely give you some ideas to try out at home. These sex conventions are easy to find on social sites including FetLife and Kasidie.
It takes quite some bravery to masturbate in front of someone, but it will allow your partner to see you enjoy pleasure, which can build intimacy. While seeing you please yourself, your partner will know how and where you like to be touched and this process is practicing a level of vulnerability that encourages closeness. Besides, masturbation offers a number of health benefits, including improving your mood and relieving pent-up stress, which is a great primer for more sex.
If it is not dangerous enough, you can go for a more daring challenge: wear a remote-control sex toy on a date with the control in your partner’s hand. Your libido will surely in overdrive before you reach home.
Lack of communication is normally what prompts sex dry spells in a relationship. Contrary to popular belief, a recent survey shared by the Guardian found that couples who argued frequently were 10 times happier than those that avoided conflict. Work on having hard discussions, suggests Moon. Fostering intimacy can be as simple as having a conservation you’ve been trying hard to avoid.
Try not to get disheartened by what your partner says. Keep it in mind that discovering what’s wrong in your relationship is part of making an effort to improve it. There are always solutions, what matters is whether you will be willing to compromise. Even if you aren’t matched sexually, you can still get creative and fix those inequities.
The modern life comes with stress and busyness and they affect negatively sexual intimacy. However, we still have fruitful ways to overcome setbacks. And according to Megatron, sometimes we just need to tap into something simple to get back on track, but many people quit trying only because of fear or embarrassment.